and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize