We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Fuck appropriateness.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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