I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I think your dad took our porno
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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