Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
