This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
