so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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