I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
