I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
