I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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