my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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