so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Vodka?
Forever.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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