god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
