Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Randomize
