the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
