so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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