just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
