i need an iv and a liver transplant
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
did i just pee glitter
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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