oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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