Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
