She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize