Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Randomize