Will you blow on my dice?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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