waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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