No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
