But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I want to have your abortion
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
