I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
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So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Boobs speak an international language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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