Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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