Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
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