I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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