Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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