i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
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don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
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I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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