so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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