I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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