I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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