Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
