How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys