we're blogging at a bar
I'm jealous of your bromance
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
be right there i have to get my cape
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.