My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Dating After Heartbreak
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.