i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.