he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
