Nicole vs. Life
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
