just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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