Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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