Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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