I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
