You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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