question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Success! We fucked roommates!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
