I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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