you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
