So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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