She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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