she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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