I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
