this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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