i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
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He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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