The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
