Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.

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(619): i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus. http://tfl.nu/t4dv

Replies (20) Good night (8098) Bad night (808)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"

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(503): I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina" http://tfl.nu/3nun

Replies (40) Good night (753) Bad night (4907)
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(310): View more from California

we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again

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(310): we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again http://tfl.nu/lt5n

Replies (36) Good night (4001) Bad night (570)
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(954): View more from Florida

I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."

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(954): I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers." http://tfl.nu/vnij

Replies (40) Good night (5431) Bad night (808)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.

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(651): Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real. http://tfl.nu/xrrz

Replies (12) Good night (837) Bad night (4187)
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(806): View more from Texas

A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"

(501): View more from Arkansas

Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...

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(806): A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal" (501): Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him... http://tfl.nu/wsps

Replies (15) Good night (6046) Bad night (844)
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(817): View more from Texas

At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.

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(817): At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children. http://tfl.nu/trxp

Replies (24) Good night (7967) Bad night (1109)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.

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(440): Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana. http://tfl.nu/g8b3

Replies (24) Good night (1849) Bad night (6679)
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(240): View more from Maryland

i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.

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(240): i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark. http://tfl.nu/ophf

Replies (9) Good night (5980) Bad night (1059)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.

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(403): Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms. http://tfl.nu/yg77

Replies (2) Good night (2197) Bad night (1009)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.

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(615): I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you. http://tfl.nu/xkmh

Replies (1) Good night (1839) Bad night (895)
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(509): View more from Washington

Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns

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(509): Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns http://tfl.nu/s30q

Replies (11) Good night (1788) Bad night (748)
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(949): View more from California

You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.

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(949): You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept. http://tfl.nu/3n2j

Replies (15) Good night (2941) Bad night (575)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.

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(402): I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham. http://tfl.nu/kvkl

Replies (3) Good night (1393) Bad night (597)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert

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(203): I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert http://tfl.nu/7kxa

Replies (2) Good night (360) Bad night (303)

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