Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(830): View more from Texas

You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin

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(830): You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin http://tfl.nu/1khj

Replies (7) Good night (927) Bad night (1763)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"

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(908): Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings" http://tfl.nu/7jzd

Replies (29) Good night (3080) Bad night (633)
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(509): View more from Washington

Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin

(253): View more from Washington

was*

(509): View more from Washington

True, R.I.P.

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(509): Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin (253): was* (509): True, R.I.P. http://tfl.nu/u2pm

Replies (19) Good night (1179) Bad night (2417)
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(845): View more from New York

just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.

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(845): just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever. http://tfl.nu/d1ay

Replies (21) Good night (8924) Bad night (703)
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(404): View more from Georgia

So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.

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(404): So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night. http://tfl.nu/skws

Replies (14) Good night (4845) Bad night (646)
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(415): View more from California

The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.

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(415): The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight. http://tfl.nu/rmxq

Replies (20) Good night (4111) Bad night (741)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house

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(973): Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house http://tfl.nu/x9ej

Replies (11) Good night (3506) Bad night (1151)
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(515): View more from Iowa

The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.

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(515): The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker. http://tfl.nu/o20c

Replies (15) Good night (863) Bad night (2907)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME

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(603): I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME http://tfl.nu/slem

Replies (5) Good night (4269) Bad night (937)
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(407): View more from Florida

Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.

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(407): Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition. http://tfl.nu/erlj

Replies (3) Good night (1493) Bad night (622)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.

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(+44): next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius. http://tfl.nu/19nm

Replies (3) Good night (518) Bad night (1144)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!

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(601): This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK! http://tfl.nu/gkpr

Replies (11) Good night (1408) Bad night (640)
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(770): View more from Georgia

There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.

(404): View more from Georgia

My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.

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(770): There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese. (404): My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe. http://tfl.nu/muox

Replies (15) Good night (2967) Bad night (527)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.

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(570): The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better. http://tfl.nu/cik5

Replies (4) Good night (701) Bad night (297)
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(858): View more from California

They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while

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(858): They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while http://tfl.nu/xhtj

Replies (1) Good night (485) Bad night (208)

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