you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.