Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks http://tfl.nu/m8t9
  Replies (8) Good night (1598) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man

  (206): View more from Washington

  ?

  (360): View more from Washington

  he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man (206): ? (360): he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH! http://tfl.nu/k0fi
  Replies (27) Good night (4139) Bad night (751)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months? http://tfl.nu/2j7i
  Replies (7) Good night (636) Bad night (3880)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself. http://tfl.nu/wwab
  Replies (45) Good night (920) Bad night (7190)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow http://tfl.nu/mex5
  Replies (67) Good night (8549) Bad night (2038)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better http://tfl.nu/bdvs
  Replies (3) Good night (2493) Bad night (644)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that? http://tfl.nu/dqln
  Replies (6) Good night (3756) Bad night (875)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk. http://tfl.nu/qjr2
  Replies (4) Good night (2104) Bad night (977)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.

  (1-313): View more from Michigan

  Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges. (1-313): Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss. http://tfl.nu/0qrk
  Replies (4) Good night (3274) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room. http://tfl.nu/qubv
  Replies (14) Good night (700) Bad night (2214)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen http://tfl.nu/up6u
  Replies (3) Good night (900) Bad night (1405)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night http://tfl.nu/871q
  Replies (3) Good night (603) Bad night (281)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself. http://tfl.nu/17i2
  Replies (0) Good night (285) Bad night (464)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs. http://tfl.nu/rj7n
  Replies (7) Good night (759) Bad night (207)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready http://tfl.nu/n5jr
  Replies (2) Good night (1330) Bad night (216)

Randomize