I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i dont even know how to be here
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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