Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Ya

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I used to kick so much ass

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  (586): Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part? (313): Ya (586): I used to kick so much ass http://tfl.nu/d78f
  Replies (2) Good night (1742) Bad night (745)
• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.

  (1-857): View more from Massachusetts

  Doors?

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.

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  (857): I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now. (1-857): Doors? (857): Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet. http://tfl.nu/ic4r
  Replies (6) Good night (2417) Bad night (963)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.

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  (406): Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns. http://tfl.nu/ywpq
  Replies (42) Good night (6548) Bad night (1092)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone

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  (812): my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone http://tfl.nu/r2zj
  Replies (37) Good night (4027) Bad night (975)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.

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  (858): There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate. http://tfl.nu/dn5m
  Replies (24) Good night (7665) Bad night (1093)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.

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  (540): She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her. http://tfl.nu/1bms
  Replies (13) Good night (4915) Bad night (1518)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.

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  (509): My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment. http://tfl.nu/j2q1
  Replies (9) Good night (5621) Bad night (1018)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.

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  (337): Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night. http://tfl.nu/5kyl
  Replies (36) Good night (6874) Bad night (2538)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.

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  (610): How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you. http://tfl.nu/fpwy
  Replies (8) Good night (2558) Bad night (799)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery

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  (608): Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery http://tfl.nu/z40m
  Replies (7) Good night (648) Bad night (1011)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.

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  (415): Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring. http://tfl.nu/atx5
  Replies (1) Good night (562) Bad night (464)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night

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  (248): So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night http://tfl.nu/96c5
  Replies (5) Good night (389) Bad night (867)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.

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  (510): There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do. http://tfl.nu/onee
  Replies (2) Good night (552) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!

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  (702): HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!! http://tfl.nu/b1io
  Replies (3) Good night (972) Bad night (434)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.

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  (404): I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors. http://tfl.nu/geij
  Replies (2) Good night (881) Bad night (199)

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