Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now! http://tfl.nu/8f67
  Replies (1) Good night (837) Bad night (1011)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I think my vagina is haunted

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): I think my vagina is haunted http://tfl.nu/mic0
  Replies (26) Good night (862) Bad night (3235)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out? http://tfl.nu/i75k
  Replies (15) Good night (2226) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm. http://tfl.nu/yhbb
  Replies (58) Good night (3065) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school... http://tfl.nu/h356
  Replies (13) Good night (1185) Bad night (2414)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk. http://tfl.nu/ersv
  Replies (2) Good night (3625) Bad night (798)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  we already have meals planned for the weekend.

  (1-864): View more from South Carolina

  SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): we already have meals planned for the weekend. (1-864): SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL. http://tfl.nu/xo3s
  Replies (13) Good night (5022) Bad night (1014)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): I think I actually have rug burn on my eye. http://tfl.nu/mvqe
  Replies (5) Good night (944) Bad night (1760)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis." http://tfl.nu/nekp
  Replies (5) Good night (2663) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra http://tfl.nu/4qki
  Replies (2) Good night (1164) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  (540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): (540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable? http://tfl.nu/oc1y
  Replies (4) Good night (842) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there http://tfl.nu/19cw
  Replies (3) Good night (238) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding http://tfl.nu/47vz
  Replies (3) Good night (819) Bad night (306)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there? http://tfl.nu/203x
  Replies (7) Good night (409) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night." http://tfl.nu/3ltw
  Replies (2) Good night (696) Bad night (195)

Randomize