I will die if light touches me.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
