Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I could have mohawked her pubes.

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  (443): I could have mohawked her pubes. http://tfl.nu/msas
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.

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  (604): My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't. http://tfl.nu/nrau
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  (646): View more from New York

  vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic

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  (646): vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic http://tfl.nu/5kjv
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.

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  (401): after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now. http://tfl.nu/y18v
  Replies (160) Good night (13060) Bad night (1629) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?

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  (503): What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you? http://tfl.nu/o1lb
  Replies (26) Good night (1063) Bad night (5316) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.

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  (330): I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies. http://tfl.nu/hccw
  Replies (9) Good night (931) Bad night (3318) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".

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  (617): I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues". http://tfl.nu/ykd9
  Replies (13) Good night (2846) Bad night (1704) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?

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  (585): any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later? http://tfl.nu/w8i3
  Replies (16) Good night (5702) Bad night (869) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.

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  (902): I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother. http://tfl.nu/s7ce
  Replies (7) Good night (4167) Bad night (875)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?

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  (862): I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this? http://tfl.nu/11gl
  Replies (3) Good night (788) Bad night (3887) Order T-Shirt
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...

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  (765): did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me... http://tfl.nu/7ye0
  Replies (7) Good night (915) Bad night (2340) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.

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  (757): I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class. http://tfl.nu/buxk
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car

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  (443): dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car http://tfl.nu/5sre
  Replies (2) Good night (1167) Bad night (572) Order T-Shirt
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.

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  (+27): Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on. http://tfl.nu/4hb1
  Replies (1) Good night (458) Bad night (175) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.

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  (801): Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom. http://tfl.nu/symd
  Replies (5) Good night (530) Bad night (158) Order T-Shirt

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