so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Randomize
