i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
