we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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