I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
