things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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