You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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