playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
